Where the former and current soldiers of the free market revolution meet to discuss everything from global warming snowglobes to politically incorrect mousepads

Friday, May 30, 2003

If our favorite activist Ralph Nader had his way, what would be on television? He complains of "A dreary similarity, with 50 channels, 500 channels, the same local news, the same obsession with weather, the same chitchat that's contrived between the anchors." What kind of local news does he want? If weather is too boring for him, what would be exciting in a Ralph Nader world? How-to videos about making cars seem unsafe at any speed? Stimulating video of kids getting killed by the airbags he fought to put in cars?
Somehow, some way, I always seem to get choice broads as my interns. I had the good looking soccer player two years ago, a really hot Mormon back in `97, and a strangely sexy (and I do mean STRANGE) Russian the following year. My only set-back was Juan-Carlos last summer, though he was kind of effeminate. I'm going to gamble and rate Vero a 6+ just on my lucky streak alone.
Last year we pre-rated the incoming female interns based on their names alone. Only the extremely 1337 were allowed to participate, but this year I think we should open it up to the proles.

Since I've made this decision unilaterally I present you with the 2003 crop of female interns

Veronica O'Connor
Katie Sheen-Abbott

That's all of them, whoopie fucking do. And who would have guessed that half of the chicks will be working for Greg, I hope she has big sharp teeth

I give Veronica a 3.2 since she's Irish
and Katie Sheen-Abbott a 1.1 for being a snotty-twatty. I hope they enjoy their stay in my punishment room.

Here's the full list of fuckholes in case you give a rats ass
Ari Driessen (oy!)
Jody Clarke

John Schwartz (OY Gevalt!)
environmental dept., global warming
Myron Ebell

Jesse Green
tech dept, financial privacy, privacy (this one stumps me)
Solveig Singleton

Veronica O'Connor (you don't want to look into MY closet)
risk issues
Greg Conko

Shaun Mathew (hellllll yeah)
antitrust, legal dept.
Sam Kazman

Eric Neuman (Seig Heil!)
environmetal dept, global warming
Ben Lieberman

Amir Khan (Now wait a fucking minute. . . )
economics dept, environmental dept.
Iain Murray

Katie Sheen-Abbott (Mummy, duhddy why do I have, like, two names and sum junk?)
risk issues, environmental dept.
Angela Logomasini
a security threat haiku

I'm feeling yellow
unstack rounds from bloated mags
still watching the browns
Just in case you missed it, the transcript of Fred's debate with Ralph Nader last night on Crossfire is up and ready. The issue was media consolidation - should Rupert Murdoch be allowed to but every radio and TV station in the country? Fred, despite not owning a television, made some great remarks about consumer choice and content diversity in broadcasting:

NADER: A dreary similarity, with 50 channels, 500 channels, the same local news, the same obsession with weather, the same chitchat that's contrived between the anchors. I mean, I don't blame Fred. He's so turned off on TV, he doesn't have a TV set.

SMITH: My brother does, though.
Can you all imagine what a Fred L. Smith blog would be like? I picture the million monkeys with a million typewriters - mountains of gibberish, with an occasional Shakespearean work.

Someone ought to make Being Fred Smith, along the lines of Being John Malkovich. I tremble at the thought of how Fred's mind works.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

I would be willing to bet, that as time goes on, we will all cherish Scott's contributions to this blog.

it's like poetry.
I'm the pickiest asshole in the office!
Go fuck yourselves.
CEI Needs a Blog

At the dinner last week, I told Emily that I think that CEI needs a blog. First of all, it would give Fred and everyone else at CEI an outlet for any and all of the things they wants to talk about. Second, it would make CEI's website more dynamic, especially if the titles would be listed as a sidebar at cei.org. Third, it would be a good way to talk about the press hits, new op-eds, studies, and what not. Fourth, I like Reason's blog (http://www.reason.com/hitandrun/) and I would like to see a blog from CEI’s perspective.

Just a thought.
Attention Fred Fans - the L. Smith will be prominently featured on deepthinker Bill Moyers' TV show 'Now' this Friday. He and Bill will be having a 'conversation' about the state and direction of environmental policy in the wake of Christie Whitman heading home to New Jersey. So either set your TiVo or cancel all your plans, bacause come Friday night at 9pm, the magic will begin.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Speaking of Canada, my office is putting together a conference in Montreal and we were just informed that our announcement about this conference must be in French and English.


Damned Canadians. This reminds me of that fantastic scene in Canadian Bacon when John Candy is forced to spray paint the French translations of his insults towards Canada on the truck by a Canadian police officer. If you haven't seen Canadian Bacon, you are really lame. And yes, I know it is a Michael Moore movie, but it is actually funny and makes fun of Americans, Canadians, liberals, conservatives and everyone else.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

New CEI asset and obligatory office Brit Iain Murray warns North Americans worried about health threats from beef to beware of Mad Politician Disease. Yet another opportunity to blame Canada, this time in advance.

Friday, May 23, 2003

You know, I'd be really interested in knowing just how many people at the dinner made the same mistake as McGee did, and thought that Jessica was a Washington Times columnist!
Apparently, I am a superstar. I was interviewed yesterday by WJLA while having lunch at ESPN Zone (and watching golf) about my views on Annika playing in the Colonial. I got an email today from an old friend saying he saw me on TV last night.

Sorry, Richard, but I don't think this counts towards CEI's media cites.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

The invitations have gone out to former (and current) CEI people to join - we only await their enthusiastic responses. I expect that Jennifer will be the first to accept the invitation, if only to assure that the future of Fred Bingo will remain select, private and enjoyable in future years.
Blame it on the Chardonnay and the distraction provided by a very sexy Washington Times columnist.

By the way, current CEI folks - the dinner went very well, the speakers were interesting and if it is weren't for Adler with his street cred head stealing pages from Fred's speech, I would've won the pool.

Nice job, guys!
Snappy Casual started Tuesday night as an Emily McGree brainstorn, so why don't you take a short trip back in time to inspire you by viewing the amazing CEI dinner webcast?

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